If this is the same Julia F Smith that lived in ...

If this is the same Julia F Smith that lived in an apartment/condo in Homewood, IL until July of 2003, I had the privilege of knowing her at the end of her life. She struggled with alzheimers for several years, but, in my opinion, was an amazing, alert thinking woman. Trapped in a world without long-term friends or family to be there for her at the end, because she had alienated anyone whom she knew. In the fall of 2001 and 2002, Julia my parents, first my dad and then my mom in 2002, through AARP, as my dad was president of her chapter in 2001. She was in need of someone to pick up groceries for her. My dad in 2001 said he knew of no one who could help. When Julia called back in fall 2002, my dad had then passed away. My mom recommended that I could be a possibility. After a quick call from mom to me, and then myself to Julia, she and I started a "friendship", that was based on a bi-weekly phone call of, "Joel, can you pick up groceries for me? I am down to my last onion!" Most of the time she was strong-willed but kind, and knew exactly what she wanted! No deviation!! In March of 2003, as I visited her with delivering groceries, she asked if I could look at her ambulance bill she had gotten. After a quick research, I noticed that the bill had been paid by her insurance, and she could discard the bill from the ambulance company. I left shortly after that that day. The next time I came with her called-in grocery list, she looked at me quite oddly. Eventually she asked me, "Joel, why were you in my bills the last time you were here!!" To which I carefully explained about matching up the bills with her insurance, and how that the bills were paid. She was satisfied. Not even fifteen seconds later, "Joel, why were you looking through my bills the last time you were here!!" The back and forth went about five times that day, until she was seemingly satisfied. She fell in July of that year, breaking her hip. A brief hospital stay, then off to Homewood Manor. I tried to visit at least once every three weeks. She mended quickly! And always seemed very cordial and sweet, UNTIL she decided she was leaving and going back home! One Saturday morning in March ? 2004 I received a phone call from the Manor. A desk clerk asked if I could come by and help with Julia, as she was determined to leave! When I walked in, there she was sitting in her doorway in a chair, her light brown suit on, her suitcase packed, and a saddened look on her face to realize that, instead of me being the taxi man to take her away to home, it was me, and I helped back to her room, helped her put away her clothes, and left. I still remember the pleas for months, even after she was healed but not mentally stable, the requests after requests to get her out of there! Julia eventually became a rather good guest, especially when she decided the meds were to help her. She actually was a very joyful person until the end. I loved the day she and I celebrated her 90th birthday! I enjoyed coming to visit her, and she was often sitting in the lobby, or at a meeting being hosted by a church. A couple regrets: Although the State felt it necessary to disclose pertinent personal financial records by mail to my home (like her net worth!), I could not be contacted any time when she went for short hospitals stays (pneumonia, heartbeat unsteady), the factors that were important. I remember to this day, July 20th, 2005, coming to visit Julia. I walked in, looked into the familiar face of the desk clerk, and saw the look of shock in her eyes! She asked, "Had no one called you? Julia went to the hospital two weeks ago! She has passed away." Even more regrettable, I eventually learned that she had already been buried in Holy Sepulchre, with two people in attendance, both State reps. I wanted to be with her at the end.... She was funny, bright, classy, a thinker, and yes, her abilities were weakened from not using meds. But, she almost always recognized me. That was precious! I visit her and John's (her husband) markers, and take the time to trim the grass back from the edge of her marker, whisk away the leaves, and tell her about the day down here. Julia, one time when we were intimately sharing about life, followed my lead in what is called the Sinner's prayer. No, she wasn't a bad person, just another person, born with a sin nature that needed curing. The cure was provided when Jesus Christ died on the cross as a perfect, sinless sacrifice to pay man's eternal sin debt. When I concluded the prayer, "In Jesus' Name, Amen", she didn't say that line. She said, "You ARE serious, aren't you?", to which I replied, "Yes". The next words were heard, "In Jesus' name, Amen", and a sweet smile was shared, as Julia realized that that small step had cured the sin curse that ruled in her life before that. She is a child of God, standing sinless before Him because of a trust in the fact that "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners", sinners like Julia. Another regret: a family member ended up hitting the scene, a niece so the office of the Public Guardian said. I was hurt by how they handled not letting me know she died, and wrote to and spoke with people from their office. One time, while speaking with one of the assistants, she shared a office box with me of Julia's memoirs, pictures, albums. What amazed me was that, if they had actually found a family member, why hadn't the family member taken the memoirs, as well. When I instructed the girl to forward everything to the family who had been contacted about the balance of her monetary accounts (which seemed substantial to me at over $700,000), she seemed surprised. I believe that the real value of Julia was in the box, not in the bank account. Farewell until heaven, Julia. Writing here was a big help! I miss her. Joel Mach, 708-957-4066. 3557 198th Street, Flossmoor, IL 60422.

Author: Joel Adam MacH

Date: 2011-11-03 04:48:00

Forum id: 2709

Wpart ID: 47753220

└─ Please, Login or Sign-up to post your comments.